Cut loose the straphangers

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?  Amos 3:3

When I was deployed to Iraq our Battery Executive Officer would frequently speak disparagingly of "straphangers".  This is a term from the infantry who often go on long road marches in training.  As men would tire, some of them would often hang on to the pack straps of those in front of them and allow the Marine in front to pull them along.  This is a nice arrangement unless you're the one pulling.  Basically, a straphanger is one who not only doesn't pull his own weight but also adds to your burden and holds you back.

I've learned over the years it's best to cut straphangers loose no matter how painful it may be at the time because they will keep you from achieving your own goals.

I recently experienced this with a friend I've known for about 10 years. We argued and it led to my severing our relationship.  Now that my anger has cooled, instead of going back to try to patch things up, I've actually realized that person has been a very negative influence in my life, consistently holding me back from trying my ambitions and putting my plans into action.  Of course the fault is mine because I shouldn't have allowed it but where a true friend would come alongside and help push you to your goals, this person would either passively stand by or worse would say things that would discourage my efforts like, "maybe God doesn't want you to do that" or "planning never works for me so I don't see the point of doing it."  My favorite was when I told him of my ambition to start working from home as a launchpoint to working for myself. He responded, "What if they forget all about you and you end up not getting paid while you work from home?"  In 2000 I moved from the state where we both lived as part of a job relocation.  Since then he has never tired of giving me guilt trips because I moved away and has discouraged me from looking for work in other states even if it would benefit my family financially. 
Now that our relationship is done I see I have a lot of work to do to refocus on my ultimate life goals.  I do not blame my friend for holding me back, I blame myself for not seeing what was happening and stopping it.
Many experts say we need to surround ourselves with winners and try to duplicate what they do.  I say that all the time to my children.  So why haven't I been doing that very thing the last 10 years? No excuses.

And now a Haiku

I hate writer's block.
crumpled up paper wad heaps.
deleted keystrokes

Injury Timeout

About a month ago I found out that the recurring elbow pain I'd been experiencing wasn't normal.  That sounds like a newsflash but it shouldn't have been.  I only experience the pain when my elbow is bent for more than 30 seconds so I just straighten it back out.  I mean, my elbows are usually only bent if I'm leaning on them which is a bad postural habit anyway or if I hold a phone for too long.  That last one happens very rarely since I use a bluetooth so again, it's not a big deal in my day.  What made it a big deal was when I decided on a whim to check into my symptoms to see what the cause could be and discovered it was likely ulnar nerve entrapment.  That condition can require surgery if it gets bad enough and leads to loss of feeling in the fingers if untreated.  Whoa. Giving my body time to heal means I've had to cancel all direct bicep work and most direct tricep work for the next six to eight months. What!?! That is a huge deal because I've had skinny arm disease for most of my life.  Even though I've been lifting weights for about 15 years, I've never had big arms. Decent chest, good back, decent upper legs...skinny arms and calves.  And that's with direct arm training. Now I hear I've got to stop all direct bicep work and limit tricep work?  What in the world can I do without direct arm work?
I decided to enter a powerlifting contest. It's coming up in about two weeks.  What? That's right, rather than sit there and cry about the fell clutch of circumstance (there's that English major rearing it's ugly head again), I decided to enter a powerlifting contest.  It's really only bench press and deadlift but those two exercise and the assistance work that accompany them also work the triceps and biceps to a degree. They also heavily involve the forearms which are the part of the arm most easily seen when you're dressed like a grownup. Since I can't do much direct arm work, this is a great time to specialize on my other bodyparts, build strength and inject an attainable goal into my training program.  After six months of this I should be able to go back to direct bicep work and increase my tricep training volume and I'll probably make better gains due to the increased strength I anticipate having after this powerlifting training cycle.
Well all that's great but what does it have to do with a blog about achieving goals in business and life in general?  I'd say just about everything.  What if you're one of the many who have lost their jobs in this recession and can't find work in their field?  You can either go the unemployment route and complain until the government comes up with a new job for you(I really hope you don't go with this option) or you can take this opportunity to be retrained for one of the many fields that's hurting for workers.  You may find you like your new field better and could potentially be making more money when it's all said and done.  After all, they guys that made buggy whips eventually lost their jobs to the automobile.  The ones who became auto mechanics were soon in demand as cars started to break down. 
Meanwhile I've got to go to bed.  Only two more heavy training sessions before the competition. I want to make the most of this opportunity.

Rewrite Hell!

I have officially learned to never brag again.  I finished working on a tech article and due to a variety of errands including manning the sticker table at my five year old's kindergarten Thanksgiving party I procrastinated sending my article in.  "It's due today but I've got plenty of time," I reasoned. "The extra time will give me fresh eyes so I can proof it one more time then send it in."  Bad idea boys and girls. 
In the course of an email exchange with my editor at 6PM EST I said, "I'll have this to you in an hour."  Then I went in my weight room to coach my kids in proper overhead squat form.  Again I swear I intended to proof the article and submit it in an hour.  Right.
I got back in my office, sat down and promptly hit the wrong button, erasing EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN IN THE FINAL DRAFT!!! Fortunately I still had a partial rough draft saved but I still had to rewrite the entire article including hyperlinks and finding the image that went with it.  It is now after midnight and I am finished a sadder, more tired but wiser person.
So today's lesson is: SEND THE ARTICLE ONCE IT'S DONE AND PROOFED THE FIRST TIME!
Or to put it in the words of Trevanian: "Procrastination is the first rung on the ladder of failure." Smart guy that Trevanian.

Excuses Can Cripple Your Will to Achieve

I've put off blogging for some time, for one reason or another either I thought it was unnecessary, I needed to concentrate on "real writing", it would take time away from my article research etc.

The truth is I just didn't feel like it. But I armored myself against that truth by making excuses.

But now I'm finding that as a father who is constantly telling his kids not to make excuses of I find I can't in good conscience continue. So I hereby announce my retirement from excuse making and without excuses I couldn't put off creating a blog any longer. This blog is going to focus on finding ways to achieve things and enjoy life instead of being defeated by excuses. I'm not going to be yet another self help guru, I don't like reading some of those guys' stuff myself. What I am interested in is how we can turn obstacles into opportunities.

In my opinion it's very empowering to admit something was completely your fault, analyze why you failed and take steps to minimize chances of future failure. Nothing defeats you more on the other hand than making an excuse for your own failure. After all if it wasn't your fault, if you did all you could and still failed because of something out of your control, then you can't ever succeed at that thing. In fact you shouldn't try anything else because circumstance is against you.

But admitting you screwed up frees you to simply not screw up that way again. It puts you back in charge of the outcome and should motivate you to get even better.

To use the recent Randy Couture Brandon Vera fight as an example, the up and coming Vera was facing a mixed martial arts legend in Randy Couture. Couture has held the title in two different weight classes at an age when most fighters would have already been retired. The fight went to a decision after three rounds during which Vera stopped Couture from taking him to the ground but failed to do more damage to Couture than a couple of hard body kicks in the second round. The judges awarded the decision to Randy Couture. Vera now has two choices:
1) Blame the decision on Randy Couture's legendary status blinding the judges, after all Couture didn't knock out Vera out either and really didn't do anything to hurt Vera.
2) Vera can accept the fact that he didn't aggressively pursue Randy Couture or capitalize on the two hard body kicks even though he could tell he had hurt Couture. He can take ownership of the fact that he didn't do all he could and left it in the judges hands then resolve to not make the same mistake in the next fight.
Either way Brandon Vera lost the fight. But the second option empowers him to train harder and increases his chances of success in his next fight.

That's what a champion would do. It's what we should all do when we fail. Own the failure then aggressively attack the reasons behind it.

No excuses.